Fractured

Fractured. A word that could easily and justifiably be used to describe America today. We are a melting pot that has grown steadily colder, congealing into a mass of disparate ingredients that want virtually nothing to do with each other. Worse still, we see each other as enemies. A bunch of scary shadowy groups of people that are...different.

Didn't we used to be one country? Didn't we used to be unified? Didn't there used to be a generally understood consensus of right and wrong? In a word, no. Well, not 'no' exactly but not 'yes' either.

The United States of American has always been a place where wildly different groups of people have coexisted with varying degrees of success. Pilgrims and Native Americans, Exiles and Indentured Servants, French and English, Irish and Italian, Black and White, Liberal and Conservative; the groups have changed and multiplied over time but the issue remains the same: how can people who are so very different find a way to get along? Well the answer is neither simple nor easy and I don't claim to have all of the answer or to even know what the whole answer is but I can tell you one thing, it starts with humility.

The rampant increase in pride and selfishness is not in any way the least of the factors contributing to our increasingly fractured society. These two traits have always been there of course, but more and more they're seen as virtues rather than vices. “Looking out for number one” has become the motto of many people across the world and when the only person that really matters is yourself, how do you expect to empathize with the people around you?

The problem is twofold, we want our own way so badly that we're willing to deprive others of the same and we increasingly demonize anyone who doesn't think the same as we do making them into enemies to be defeated rather than people to be understood.

Let's look to the first of these issues, our focus on our own way. Self actualization, self determination, and self fulfillment are the sacraments of modern man. By fulfilling these sacred duties we seek to reach what has become the humanistic nirvana, happiness. Somewhere along the line we bought the lie that happiness can and should be a permanent state rather than an occasional experience. Because of this many people now spend every waking moment either seeking happiness or lamenting their lack of it. But happiness is just an emotional state, often triggered by factors outside of our immediate control. Since we never can reach a constant state of happiness, those who see it as their goal will be forever searching for it and remain forever unfulfilled. All of this focus on personal happiness and personal fulfillment leads us to a state of perpetual self involvement and ultimately narcissism and selfishness.

This leads us to the second issue, since we are so bent on achieving our own ends and the achieving of those ends is tied to our ultimate good and our ultimate good is the inherent purpose of life than anyone and anything that stands in opposition to our own perspective is not just different from us they are a threat to us. Which at least partially explains our increasingly fractured world.

If survival of the fittest extends beyond mere biology into the realm of philosophy and politics than there can be no room for differing viewpoints or dissenting opinions. We believe this and since you believe that, you are an obstacle to my happiness and my good and it is for the ultimate benefit of the world that we destroy you and remove the weaker element. Gone is the place for careful respectful discussion. Gone is the place for mutual respect despite inherent disagreement. And soon gone is any semblance of civility. No more all of us, only us versus them.

How do we expect to have a rich and healthy society when all opinions are treated as sacred and no one can speak against anyone else? How are we supposed to find truth if everything is truth and no one is ever forced to examine their opinions and beliefs? We cannot be a melting pot if we refuse to loosen up and move outside of our own rigidly defined shapes. We cannot be one people if we obsess over our little groups and contain ourselves within our recognizable demographics.

In this I don't mean that we shouldn't hold to our beliefs. Strong convictions are necessary in life as long as we base them on reality. Like I said several hundred words ago, I'm talking about humility. We need to allow for even the barest possibility that we may be wrong. This helps us to accommodate the other side of the table and really listen.

Not everyone is going to agree with what you believe. In fact, most people are going to disagree with you and that's okay! You can't force people to walk the same road that you do and not everyone wants to move in the same direction anyway. Let people be different, let them be strange to you. Listen to them and talk to them, not at them. Maybe, if you speak softly and respectfully, you can change the minds of a few. You just might change yourself and maybe, we might all be just a little better off.